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Free Cotton!

One odd night at Rasslin, I decided to go with a different group of fans. An old friend of my brother, Simp, gathered a bunch of crazy guys together to go to the matches. Simp was a real piece of work and without a doubt the loudest man who ever walked the planet. One night he barked at Tommy Young for 45 minutes straight until Tommy stopped and asked just what was this guy drinking? If I could find out he wanted some.

 Anyway, a night with Simp was a real treat. He had a new crew with him and one guy was really pounding down the Buds. He drank beers before the show, in the parking lot, anywhere he could. All I remember was his name was Cotton and he was ready for Rasslin.

 Funny, I cannot remember a single match that night. All I remember was Cotton screaming at the top of his lungs, and I quote,

 "THIS IS IT!"

 Cotton must have said that 75 times. Finally Simp asked him, "what was it." Cotton grabbed the front railing and screamed,  "THE GREENSBORO COLO IS TURNING OVER!"

I laughed so hard I am still hurting to this day.

 We were sitting about 15 rows up when Cotton decided he wanted a piece of Greensboro's Finest. There was a really ugly female cop walking around keeping the peace. Suddenly, Cotton started yelling at her that she looked like Ester from Sanford and Son. He was just hammering this mean looking chick and suddenly she snapped and when after him!

Ester got a few cops to join the chase but Cotton got away. Cotton sneaked back to our group when a redneck fan with his family started yelling for the cops.

Cotton ran like hell, but the cops caught him at the escalator. He was screaming,  "HELP! HELP! YOU GUYS HELP ME! HEY GUYS, I WAS ONLY KIDDING! HELP!"

 "GOD HELP ME!"

That was the funniest thing I ever saw.

But, I got pissed at the neck family for squealing on Cotton so I turned back and lit in to this redneck guy as bad as I could. I called him a squealer. I called him a coward. I even told his family that their old man didn't have any guts! I challenged him to face me in a fight. Man, I gave that guy nothing. He got so angry that he got up and left the show. I have never had that kind of display of insanity before or since.

For the record, Cotton was the first and last person that went to wrestling with me that spent the night in jail. Imagine him trying to explain to his wife that he was in jail because of Rasslin.

Believe it or not, at his hearing, the judge BANNED him for life from wrestling matches in Greensboro! The judge ruled that wrestling was just too exciting for him in person. So no more Cotton and no more live action for him.

What a way to go.

Next:
Five Cops, David Crockett and the Dream

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