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Goofy Jimmy Garvin
To start with, I was a big fan of Jimmy Garvin in the World Class and AWA days. I always thought he was a great guy on the stick and his interviews made me laugh. I somehow never noticed that he sucked in the ring but it was very apparent when you saw the guy in person. He was with out a doubt the laziest wrestler in the world.
I attended to a card in Winston Salem where Garvin was second from the top against the Warlord. Now, the Warlord was a huge steroid guy that really could not work well. Crockett Promotions always hid the big stiff in tag matches so Garvin was not wrestling anyone that was very good.
I understood from the beginning that it was going to be a challenge to have a great match; it would be a miracle if it would even be watchable. But, second from the top - well it could be fun. The match lasted all of 12 seconds! That is right.12 SECONDS!
The Warlord charged Garvin at the turnbuckle. Garvin stepped out of the way, Warlord hit the turnbuckle, and Garvin rolled him up for the pin.
Man! That was a religious moment for me. Garvin mailed it in and went home that night not caring for one second for the fans that paid to see him. From then on, he was on the list.
The list is a bad place to be because it meant you got the treatment from the Greensboro Front Row fans. And if you'll remember, Dr.Tom Miller had already informed me the guy was a pain.
Well, I am at a match in Greensboro, front row of course, and out comes Jimmy Garvin and his valet Precious.
Precious (Garvin's real life wife) was never a big fan of the Front Row. Maybe it was the fact we would roll out dimes and nickels and ask her to pick them up? She carried a can of air freshener and sprayed it all around the ring to piss off the fans. Bruce said he thought it was for some kind of itch problem.
Garvin's opponent was Tully Blanchard, one of the greatest wrestlers I personally have ever witnessed. Blanchard must have pissed off the management to be put in an early match with Garvin because everyone knew Garvin was all show and zero in the ring.
I held up a sign that read,"GOOFY JIMMY" and Garvin and his wife went nuts. It always amazed me that the simple signs always got the best reaction. Tully loved it of course.
As the match began, Garvin chased Tully around the ring. As Garvin ran by ring announcer Dr.Tom Miller, he grabbed Dr.Tom's drink and continued the chase. Just as he turned the corner in front of me, Garvin threw the drink, missing Blanchard but flinging it right at the Front Row.
It was a setup to get even for the Goofy Jimmy sign. We didn't get too wet but there was a lot of ice at our feet while Garvin and Precious laughed right at us.
Well, the one thing they did not count on was how much Tully Blanchard liked the Front Row Fans. We were the Original Horsemen fans - Tully even did (along with Arn Anderson) TV interviews about us. Those guys always talked about what we did and what signs we displayed. Tully once called Greensboro the "Home Court of the Horsemen." We all loved those guys.
Anyway, I went crazy and demanded that Tully get Garvin back. I was drinking a soft drink that night and, along with Billy Pritchett, stood at the metal ring barrier with our drinksup, yelling for Tully to take revenge. I hoped that Tully would run by and grab my drink and toss it at Garvin.
Suddenly, Tully threw Garvin over the tope rope right at us! They began to brawl and got closer and closer to us. In one quick move, Tully winked at me to say, here he comes!
Tully grabbed Garvin by the hair and slammed him across the ring barrier. At the exact same time, when Garvin went down, I went up with my drink right into his head! It was perfect timing, drink exploded all over the place! Ice and drink went everywhere! I heard Garvin say, and I quote, "SHIT!"
I suddenly realized that I had done the one thing that Garvin wanted. This was the one thing that could get me kicked out of the Coliseum!
What a fool I was! Finally they were going to see my big ass tossed for throwing a drink on a wrestler!
And then a miracle happened.
Before the police could grab me, the Greensboro Coliseum Security ran to me first and yelled for me to quit causing trouble and sit down. The group of Greensboro's Finest turned and just walked away letting the security handle the situation.
I lived to see another day!
Garvin could not believe it!
And I got to yell at him about how I got to cup him because he sucks - and now everybody knows it! "Even the cops let me cup you because you suck!"
Believe it or not, that is the truth.
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