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The Southern Comfort Boys

It was time for another trip to Plato's Crash Landing for a night of cheap and unpredictable entertainment. The usual crew was with yours truly and about 105 folks were in attendance.

I really love going to these kinds of shows. You never, and I mean never, know what you are going to see. Most likely really crappy attempts at wrestling but it seems that every time I went something strange happened. And needless to stay, if I am writing this for your enjoyment, something did.

There was a tag team that night with the Southern Comfort Boys verses the hated Psycho and Man Mountain. Please allow me to introduce these combatants.

The Southern Comfort Boys were two brothers, red headed and in good athletic shape. That is a rarity at these small independent shows, two guy who looked like they could wrestle.

The Psycho, well, that is not really correct. They misspelled his name on the poster, it read "Physo" so from then on he was the Phizzo. This guy was a short fat guy missing his front teeth that did try as hard as he could to put on a match. That ain't saying much in his case but he was entertaining.

The Man Mountain was a 320 pound fat guy that played an insane hillbilly His head was shaved and he wore bib overall in the ring. Think Sling Blade's Carl played by a really bitter, drunk Orson Wells.

The match began and it was the same old stuff until the Mountain went nuts. The Mountain was on top of one of the Comfort Boys and shockingly he reached into his boot and pulled out a steel fork.

Then he started to stab Comfort in the forehead! I think he got in about three or four brutal headshots before Comfort Boy bolted out of the ring. This was not something that happened every day seeing a guy get stabbed with a fork. But I guess you know that.

That poor Comfort Boy was bleeding really badly from this attack and he began to walk into the crowd to show his wife or girl friend his head wounds. It wasn't a very pretty sight, this was going to leave a scar for life.

As Comfort Boys one and two both left the ring really pissed and shocked. Mountain decided to keep going with the match. The Comfort Boy had his back to the ring when Mountain decided to cleaver the poor guy with a steel chair shot to the back of his head. It was really grisly to say the least. Comfort was hit so hard he went about four rows deep into the crowd.

I am pretty sure none of this was part of the match and I began to wonder just what caused all this mess.

Was it a battle for back room power? Was it a fight for the book? Did somebody mess with somebody's woman? Was it a fight to see who was the bull of the woods? No, I think the Mountain just got caught up in the moment and decided to crush this poor guy. Why he chose a steel fork instead of wrapping up a couple of Popsicle sticks remains a mystery.

Then, suddenly, the American Rocker ran in from the backroom and tackled the Mountain and started pounding him with a flurry of right hand haymakers. And I guess I should mention that Rocker had a cast on that same right hand!

Mountain was nobody's fool and with Phizzo trailing, he ran back to the back room area for safety. A few minutes later, Rocker and the Southern Comfort Boys went running after them and a huge fight ensued. There was yelling a screaming and a ton of punches thrown in the back room that night and most of them were real. I looked at Obin and Big Eddie and said we had to come back next show and of course we did.


Next Time,
The Phone Call




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