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More Clear Air

Everybody's got something to hide except me and one Mulkey.

Once again I start out with the immortal words, everything you read here is 100% true even if some people are in denial.

 I only missed two shows from late 1985 to 1991 and the reason is I got real sick and was in the hospital with kidney failure. If being on Dialysis is not a good enough excuse for you fine folks then I will pray for you later this evening.

This was around August and September of 1986 but I still watched TV and kept up with the action. The gallant Front Row went on with out me and kept the wrestling pot hot but I did return. That was a scary time for me because if anyone got tough I doubt I could have knocked over a feather. As we all walked into the good old Coliseum, something very interesting happened. I was carrying a bunch of posters down to the Front Row when the fans began to boo me.

 I am not making this up.

 The fans gave me the ultimate salute that night and of course I gave them a wave thanking them for their hatred of all that is wrong with the world. Well, what was wrong in their small grapping world. Everyone on the Front Row couldn't believe it! And I was shocked at the warm out pouring of well, hate.

 Man, now I know how Bobby Shane feels!

I guess if you wear a hat, make a bunch of heel signs, sit on the Front Row and make people angry, then this is what you get.

 I did get a transplant in 1988 and I am now fine under proper medication.

  Another time in Greensboro, a face chick wandered into the Front Row. She was sitting right behind me and really could not understand why we were cheering for the heels. She had a bad blond dye job and was cheering against the Sheepherders that night. Of course this was an excellent opportunity to light her up.

We all began to really cheer on the Sheepherders who at that time were not a comedy act. They were the classic bloody brawlers from Memphis. After the match, the Herders walked up right in front of me and started railing on this loud chick.

And I quote, from Butch, "You are a stupid woman! You should be at home, barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen!"

 I turned around to her and said at the exactly same time as Luke, "That's right cousin!"

Then the Sheepherders looked this chick right in her face and said, "These are the only good Americans in this whole bloody place!"

Butch put his arm around me and I said, "That's right cousin! She is bloody stupid!"

Man, that put her in lather. Then the Sheepherders stood back and gave the Front Row a salute. You could see the guys laughing all the way to the back.

The chick was never seen again after that night.

Another time there was a match with Doctor Death Steve Williams verses Captain Mike Rotundo. During this match both guys locked up in the corner nearest to us. I yelled out very clearly,

"Better watch out Dr. Death, Blackjack might introduce you to his good looking daughter!"

That was the right time and the right place to drop that line. Cappy Mike started laughing, totally breaking character. He was hopping on one foot with Death holding him and he was yelling at Death, "Cover for me! Cover! Cover for me!"

 They then fell into the corner laughing insanely. It took awhile for Cappy Mike to get a grip on himself and start wrestling. He then gave us that look like, Man, don't ever do that again.

 We got Dr. Death too.

This was right after the NCAA threw the book at Oklahoma and his old coach Barry Switzer. Dr Death was matched up with Black Bart and we all began to heckle Williams. When he was being introduced we all began to chant, Nebraska at him. Dr. Death just started running in place and said, "No way!"

We then knew we had his attention so we all started peppering the guy with NCAA investigation lines. Death was hanging in there until somebody yelled, "Did you get credit for mowing Switzer's grass?"

Then Dr. Death totally lost it and began laughing so hard that Black Bart got pissed and threw his ass out of the ring to get him to stop laughing. Death was gone at that point and Bart kept throwing punches and kicks on him to get him to stop laughing. Nothing worked. Bart looked at us and said, "Hey guys! Stop! I am trying to keep my job!"

There was Dr. Death on all fours just laughing and there was nothing Black Bart could do to stop him.

 Ah, the match really sucked. I gave it four stars.

 

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Tim Woods

Jimmy Garvin

Brute Bernard

Johnny Valentine

Nature Boy

Arn Anderson

The New Breed

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Terry Funk

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