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Gene Simmons Family Jewels:
The Best of Seasons 1 & 2

Gene Simmons’ reality series has often been compared to The Osbournes, which makes sense -- to an extent -- as both Simmons and Ozzy are aging rock stars heading unusual families. But whereas Ozzy and his kin spend a good percentage of their time cussing each other out, the rotund Kiss leader actually appears to get along perfectly fine with his girlfriend and two children.

This is not exactly a traditional nuclear family, however, a fact we learn quickly from “Happily Unmarried”, the very first episode from Season 1 of these ‘best of’ DVD. The mother of Simmons’ two children, the older Nick and the younger Sophie, is Shannon Tweed, a former Playboy Playmate of the Year. She’s also not his wife, but instead his girlfriend of 23 years. Tweed would gladly wed Simmons, by the way, but he’ll have nothing of it. This first episode begins with Simmons and his offspring planning a surprise birthday party for Tweed. But once Tweed gets wind of this celebration, she decides to transform her birthday party into a mock wedding party, instead; one that even includes a visit from a Rabbi. She does this to scare Simmons as well as remind him of her stubborn intentions to one day become his wife.

Simmons is not your typical father figure, either. In “Next Generation Rock Star”, he gives his son, Nick, a few experienced lessons in how to become a rock star. Then in “Driving Me Crazy”, he bets his son he can score higher on a driving test. But this Beverly Hills transplant -- who didn’t even start driving till age 34 -- loses the wager badly to his son.

Rounding out the first season’s highlights, “The Demon Lives” focuses on Simmons’ various activities as a Kiss member, including an appearance on an MTV program where the hotel nearly loses his specially made Kiss costume. This almost brings out the demonic demeanor some have always suspected Simmons as having.

Season 2, captured on disc two, is only recommended for viewers with strong stomachs. That’s because many of these episodes focus on Simmons and Tweed’s plans to have plastic surgery – and all in front of the camera. These are graphic shots, too, with lots of skin and blood filling up the screen. The funniest moment, during a section without a whole lot of funny moments, takes place in “Under the Knife?” where a surgeon must confiscate the cell phone Simmons has hidden in his sock-- right before surgery. Simmons is nearly permanently attached to his phone, and this scene is visual proof of that.

Mixed in with all this talk about face changes and such is the drama surrounding Tweed’s desire to have a third child with Simmons. One of the lighter scenes in “A Bun in the Oven?” is when Nick is forced to accompany his mother while she buys up nearly every pregnancy test known to man at a drugstore.

Although Gene Simmons is not a gentle as the real Alice Cooper is behind the makeup -- to name-drop another famous rocker with a well-known persona -- he’s not far behind. He may look scary with all those metallic spikes and black leather, but he’s also a bear-like loving father at home. Furthermore, his family is darn close to a traditional family, even though it is not of the married kind, which leaves these family jewels looking just fine after all.

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